1 00:00:00,139 --> 00:00:02,089 Butt! Butt! Butt! 2 00:00:02,090 --> 00:00:04,040 Headbutt Man, you are the man! 3 00:00:05,810 --> 00:00:08,177 Hell yeah! I feel amazing! 4 00:00:08,212 --> 00:00:10,946 There's nothing... literally nothing... 5 00:00:10,982 --> 00:00:13,783 I can't smash with my head! 6 00:00:13,818 --> 00:00:15,484 Oh, hey, Butt, what about a unicorn? 7 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:18,587 Oh, yeah! Let's take this party to the next level! 8 00:00:18,656 --> 00:00:21,924 Someone bring me a bucket of tequila and a unicorn! 9 00:00:21,959 --> 00:00:24,860 - Oh, man. - Listen up, people. 10 00:00:24,896 --> 00:00:27,697 We just closed the Tustin Soccer Land account. 11 00:00:27,732 --> 00:00:31,632 - Tonight we celebrate at Milligan's. - Oh, hey, Linda, is it cool 12 00:00:31,667 --> 00:00:33,903 if I bring my buddy Headbutt Man, Wrecker of Skulls, 13 00:00:33,938 --> 00:00:36,238 Smasher of Art, Destroyer of Bars and Restaurants? 14 00:00:36,274 --> 00:00:38,274 He's my old war buddy from Zephyria, 15 00:00:38,309 --> 00:00:40,009 and he's coming to visit me this weekend. 16 00:00:40,044 --> 00:00:42,078 I mean, he can drink a battlemammoth under the table, 17 00:00:42,113 --> 00:00:44,880 and then he headbutts everything. 18 00:00:44,916 --> 00:00:47,049 Oh, that sounds like a terrible idea. 19 00:00:47,118 --> 00:00:49,885 But at Milligan's, I'm not Boss Linda. 20 00:00:49,921 --> 00:00:51,687 I'm Slayer Linda! 21 00:00:51,723 --> 00:00:53,689 And Slayer Linda's a little more pro-destruction. 22 00:00:53,725 --> 00:00:57,093 Slayer Linda makes me... uncomfortable. 23 00:00:57,128 --> 00:00:59,328 - Yeah, you told HR. - Oh! 24 00:00:59,363 --> 00:01:01,030 Check out 25 00:01:01,065 --> 00:01:03,199 what Butt did to the world's largest domino display. 26 00:01:04,235 --> 00:01:06,569 Ooh-hoo-hoo! Yeah! 27 00:01:13,509 --> 00:01:16,513 sync and correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 28 00:01:18,316 --> 00:01:20,583 - Oh, hey, Layla. - Hey. 29 00:01:20,618 --> 00:01:22,418 - What's up? - Uh, did you hear about 30 00:01:22,453 --> 00:01:24,253 - Shannon's party? - Yeah. 31 00:01:24,288 --> 00:01:26,322 I'm actually kind of torn, 'cause, on the one hand, 32 00:01:26,357 --> 00:01:27,857 - Shannon's, like, the worst. - Yeah. 33 00:01:27,892 --> 00:01:30,426 But on the other hand, I hate parties, so... 34 00:01:30,461 --> 00:01:33,829 Right. You want to go? 35 00:01:33,865 --> 00:01:36,533 - To the party? - Yeah. Or we could just 36 00:01:36,534 --> 00:01:40,269 go and be stupid and wear our pants backwards. 37 00:01:40,304 --> 00:01:43,205 Yeah, yeah, I mean, we could... we could try to get in, 38 00:01:43,241 --> 00:01:45,407 but I don't know if they let in freaks. 39 00:01:45,443 --> 00:01:48,778 - Freaks? - Yeah, you know, like you and me. 40 00:01:48,813 --> 00:01:51,480 Oh, yeah. Yeah, we're totally freaks. 41 00:01:51,516 --> 00:01:53,182 Anyway, I should probably go. 42 00:01:53,217 --> 00:01:56,318 - But, uh, maybe I'll see you there. - Yeah. 43 00:01:56,354 --> 00:01:58,888 Yeah, I'll see you there, freak! 44 00:02:02,527 --> 00:02:04,026 All right, here we go. 45 00:02:04,061 --> 00:02:07,704 Flight tracker says Headbutt Man landed 20 minutes ago. 46 00:02:07,768 --> 00:02:09,532 Butt! Butt! Butt! Butt! 47 00:02:09,567 --> 00:02:10,800 Wh-Why aren't you guys chanting? 48 00:02:10,835 --> 00:02:14,003 Uh, maybe because you just told us he was coming three hours ago. 49 00:02:14,071 --> 00:02:16,238 - And staying with you. - That's right. Yes, thank you. 50 00:02:16,274 --> 00:02:17,973 Well, I-I can't let him stay with me. 51 00:02:18,009 --> 00:02:20,142 No, he'd destroy the place. And I rent. 52 00:02:20,178 --> 00:02:21,977 So, is this protected enough? 53 00:02:22,013 --> 00:02:24,613 - Uh, you tell me. - Oh... 54 00:02:24,649 --> 00:02:25,880 - Really? - Remember back in Zephyria, 55 00:02:25,883 --> 00:02:28,317 when he headbutted that giant hole in the ground, 56 00:02:28,352 --> 00:02:30,853 and then we all got wasted and started dropping elves into the hole? 57 00:02:30,888 --> 00:02:33,155 Yes, I remember committing elficide. 58 00:02:33,191 --> 00:02:36,592 Oh, man, I can't wait to go berserk with Butt at my work party. 59 00:02:36,627 --> 00:02:37,893 Hey, you know what, 60 00:02:37,929 --> 00:02:39,795 you guys should come rage with us, too, you know. 61 00:02:39,831 --> 00:02:43,365 - Craig and I are not raging. - No. We're gonna stay in, relax, 62 00:02:43,401 --> 00:02:45,301 maybe open one of our cheeses of the month. 63 00:02:45,336 --> 00:02:48,003 - Mmm. - Ugh! This is exactly why I can't wait 64 00:02:48,039 --> 00:02:49,605 for Headbutt Man to get here. 65 00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:51,607 This has been my life since I got to Orange County: 66 00:02:51,642 --> 00:02:54,276 dinner parties, bike rides, avocado toast, 67 00:02:54,312 --> 00:02:57,847 - uh, the dumb happy look on Craig's face. - Oh. 68 00:02:57,882 --> 00:02:59,448 The dumb hurt look on Craig's face. 69 00:02:59,483 --> 00:03:03,362 - I am bored out of my friggin' mind! - I'm so sorry 70 00:03:03,397 --> 00:03:05,287 that you feel like your best days are behind you, 71 00:03:05,323 --> 00:03:09,024 - but I love it here, and I never look back. - Well, if young Edie 72 00:03:09,060 --> 00:03:10,693 could hear you say that, she would stomp you 73 00:03:10,728 --> 00:03:13,128 with her awesome giant demon boots. 74 00:03:13,164 --> 00:03:14,029 It's called growing up. 75 00:03:14,065 --> 00:03:15,965 Maybe if Headbutt Man had done it, 76 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,800 he'd still be married to Headbutt Woman. 77 00:03:17,835 --> 00:03:19,635 Aw, come on, why you got to rag on Butt? 78 00:03:19,670 --> 00:03:22,838 - What'd he ever do to you? - He headbutted me. 79 00:03:22,874 --> 00:03:26,075 Well, I for one am looking forward to meeting this gentleman. 80 00:03:26,110 --> 00:03:27,810 Oh, boy. 81 00:03:27,845 --> 00:03:30,246 Layla. Yeah, yeah, it's you, uh-huh. 82 00:03:30,281 --> 00:03:32,781 Oh, I didn't mean to interrupt. Just keep-keep at it. 83 00:03:32,817 --> 00:03:34,083 I'll be... 84 00:03:34,118 --> 00:03:37,653 Dumbass. Stupid tight jeans. 85 00:03:41,559 --> 00:03:44,860 Mm. What a freak. 86 00:03:44,896 --> 00:03:46,328 Oh, he's here! He's here! 87 00:03:46,364 --> 00:03:48,664 Alangulon, stop diddling yourself! Come say hi! 88 00:03:48,699 --> 00:03:50,432 Haveth me yumpnarfs! 89 00:03:50,468 --> 00:03:52,501 Aw, it's good to see you. 90 00:03:52,536 --> 00:03:54,970 - Oh, man. - Oh, is that Glombeast blood on your shirt there? 91 00:03:55,006 --> 00:03:56,639 Wh... Oh! 92 00:03:56,674 --> 00:03:58,641 - Got you! - Oh, man, you got me. 93 00:03:58,676 --> 00:04:00,009 But really, is that blood? 94 00:04:00,044 --> 00:04:01,277 - Never mind. - Who is that I see? 95 00:04:01,312 --> 00:04:03,245 - Is that Edie? - Hey, Butt. 96 00:04:03,281 --> 00:04:05,347 Boy, oh, boy, you look mature. 97 00:04:05,383 --> 00:04:06,749 - Oh. - Uh, in a, in a good way. 98 00:04:06,784 --> 00:04:08,317 You know, without the dread-mohawk 99 00:04:08,352 --> 00:04:10,452 - and all the face piercings. - Well, it's still 100 00:04:10,488 --> 00:04:12,688 my driver's license photo, so... 101 00:04:12,723 --> 00:04:14,189 Uh, this is Craig, my fiancé. 102 00:04:14,225 --> 00:04:16,825 Hi. As you can see, I sort of came prepared. 103 00:04:16,861 --> 00:04:18,994 - I want your butt right on my head. - Oh... 104 00:04:19,030 --> 00:04:20,496 That didn't sound right. I'm sorry. 105 00:04:20,531 --> 00:04:22,398 Aw, Butt, no, come on, you shouldn't have. 106 00:04:22,433 --> 00:04:25,334 You know, I didn't think they still sold comfort slaves at Duty Free. 107 00:04:25,369 --> 00:04:28,037 - Kneel, wench! - No, no, Zorn. 108 00:04:28,072 --> 00:04:31,040 - This is my girlfriend, Elizabeth. - Your girlfriend? 109 00:04:31,075 --> 00:04:33,709 - Head's told me so much about you. - "Head?" 110 00:04:33,744 --> 00:04:35,577 - You must be Edie. - Hi. 111 00:04:35,613 --> 00:04:38,847 - Do I... Have we met? - I don't think so. 112 00:04:38,883 --> 00:04:40,716 - Maybe in Zephyria? - Oh. 113 00:04:40,751 --> 00:04:42,651 Did you used to have a spider that lived in your face? 114 00:04:42,687 --> 00:04:45,321 - No, sorry. - Well, let me show you guys 115 00:04:45,356 --> 00:04:46,221 where you're gonna be. Oh, my God! 116 00:04:46,257 --> 00:04:47,222 What? 117 00:04:47,258 --> 00:04:49,591 Headbutt Girl, come on! You don't just 118 00:04:49,627 --> 00:04:52,394 enter someone's house and stand there all creepily. 119 00:04:52,430 --> 00:04:53,762 Oh, sorry. Hi. 120 00:04:53,798 --> 00:04:56,565 Um... my mom and brother are both dead. 121 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,366 - It's... - Hey, there he is! 122 00:04:58,401 --> 00:05:00,536 - Yo. - The fruit of my loins. 123 00:05:00,571 --> 00:05:03,305 He's got his mother's eyes, but his father's penises. 124 00:05:03,341 --> 00:05:05,074 What? Okay. 125 00:05:05,109 --> 00:05:07,109 All right, on that note, I'm probably gonna head out. 126 00:05:07,144 --> 00:05:08,577 - Where? - Oh, to that party. 127 00:05:08,612 --> 00:05:10,145 Uh, you said you'd let me borrow the car, remember? 128 00:05:10,181 --> 00:05:11,347 A party? Oh, wow! 129 00:05:11,382 --> 00:05:12,681 That sounds like something Headbutt Girl would be 130 00:05:12,717 --> 00:05:14,383 totally interested in. Hey, you know what, 131 00:05:14,418 --> 00:05:16,051 maybe you guys could go together or something like that. 132 00:05:16,087 --> 00:05:17,553 I don't know, I'm just throwing the idea out there. 133 00:05:17,588 --> 00:05:19,321 Oh, you know what, actually, really, it's more of a... 134 00:05:19,357 --> 00:05:23,425 Yes, that is a great idea. You should bring her along. 135 00:05:24,495 --> 00:05:26,628 She is our guest. 136 00:05:26,664 --> 00:05:29,565 - Okay. Shall we? - All right. 137 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:32,401 Okay, so, uh, Headbutt Girl, where would... 138 00:05:32,436 --> 00:05:33,969 Headbutt Girl? 139 00:05:34,005 --> 00:05:36,672 What are you, my dad? Okay, no one calls me that. 140 00:05:36,741 --> 00:05:38,273 Call me Dorothy Clementina. 141 00:05:38,309 --> 00:05:41,276 - Okay, uh, Dorothy, the... - Oh, I'm sorry, did I just say Dorothy, 142 00:05:41,312 --> 00:05:43,612 or did I say Dorothy Clementina?! 143 00:05:43,647 --> 00:05:45,981 Use both names together so it sounds more badass. 144 00:05:46,017 --> 00:05:49,952 I'm sorry. Uh, okay. So... I just want to make sure 145 00:05:49,987 --> 00:05:52,321 you're prepared to go to, like, an American party. 146 00:05:52,390 --> 00:05:55,391 Is there gonna be sex at the party? 'Cause I'm good at sex. 147 00:05:55,426 --> 00:05:56,826 You know what? I think there's probably 148 00:05:56,827 --> 00:05:58,227 some better stuff we could do tonight. 149 00:05:58,262 --> 00:06:00,029 This party is pretty stupid. 150 00:06:00,064 --> 00:06:03,565 We're going to that party! Start the car! 151 00:06:03,601 --> 00:06:06,101 - What do you think about an accent wall? - Oh, I like that. 152 00:06:06,137 --> 00:06:07,770 - Do you? - Hey, don't worry. 153 00:06:07,805 --> 00:06:09,471 Five minutes of small talk and we can split. 154 00:06:09,507 --> 00:06:11,373 My office is having a bananas-ass throw-down. 155 00:06:11,409 --> 00:06:12,608 And then after the party, 156 00:06:12,643 --> 00:06:15,144 I know this guy who has an illegal bull on his ranch. 157 00:06:15,179 --> 00:06:17,179 I'd love to see what you can do against that thing. 158 00:06:17,214 --> 00:06:18,981 Yeah, sure, no, that's, uh... 159 00:06:19,016 --> 00:06:21,316 Why don't we just see how the night plays out? 160 00:06:21,352 --> 00:06:22,684 - Is that Nababbo? - Oh, my God. 161 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:24,319 You're familiar with the Nina Simone of goat's milks? 162 00:06:24,355 --> 00:06:26,522 Well, is this, like, a cheese tasting, or... 163 00:06:26,557 --> 00:06:28,390 - Oh, well, it can be. - Yeah. 164 00:06:28,459 --> 00:06:30,559 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you guys go ahead and stay here. 165 00:06:30,594 --> 00:06:33,429 Sniff dairy, stack crackers, be generally very boring. 166 00:06:33,464 --> 00:06:36,532 Really? I don't know, I... cheese night sounds kind of fun. 167 00:06:36,567 --> 00:06:37,966 - Fun? - You know what, 168 00:06:38,002 --> 00:06:39,635 we could have a cheese/wine pairing. 169 00:06:39,670 --> 00:06:43,005 - Ooh! - Uh, actually, uh, no wine for me. 170 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:44,706 Oh, wait a minute, now I get it. 171 00:06:44,742 --> 00:06:46,175 "Cheese night." "No wine for me." 172 00:06:46,210 --> 00:06:48,477 Aw, I totally fell for it, man. 173 00:06:48,512 --> 00:06:49,812 That's hilarious. 174 00:06:49,847 --> 00:06:52,848 Actually, Zorn, I, um... I don't party anymore. 175 00:06:52,883 --> 00:06:56,718 - I-I quit. - Well, that is great news. 176 00:06:56,754 --> 00:06:57,753 - Congratulations. - Yeah. 177 00:06:57,788 --> 00:06:59,388 Hold on! 178 00:06:59,423 --> 00:07:01,290 Look at those crackers! 179 00:07:01,325 --> 00:07:02,892 - Thank you. - Wow! 180 00:07:02,927 --> 00:07:04,660 You know how to make a guy's mouth water. 181 00:07:04,695 --> 00:07:06,462 Am I right or am I right or am I right? 182 00:07:08,532 --> 00:07:10,991 You must have crackers from all over the world! 183 00:07:12,676 --> 00:07:15,510 Well, how did you two meet? 184 00:07:15,545 --> 00:07:18,880 Oh, well, I was working as a nurse in Zephyria 185 00:07:18,915 --> 00:07:20,515 - Mhm. - through Doctors Without Borders. 186 00:07:20,550 --> 00:07:21,950 And they just opened up that coffee spot 187 00:07:21,985 --> 00:07:23,733 down the street from Butt Palace. 188 00:07:23,768 --> 00:07:25,753 So I was on a little latte break, and... 189 00:07:25,789 --> 00:07:27,555 - they mixed up our orders. - And they mixed up our orders! 190 00:07:27,591 --> 00:07:29,157 - Are you kidding me? - Oh, wait a sec. 191 00:07:29,192 --> 00:07:30,592 You were a nurse? That must be it. 192 00:07:30,627 --> 00:07:33,895 Were you working triage during the bloodbath of '92? 193 00:07:33,930 --> 00:07:36,497 No. I was zombified and buried underground for all of '92. 194 00:07:36,533 --> 00:07:38,032 - Oh. - Anyway, 195 00:07:38,068 --> 00:07:39,867 turns out Head and I have so much in common. 196 00:07:39,903 --> 00:07:42,170 - Ugh. - We both really like visiting canals. 197 00:07:42,205 --> 00:07:44,239 Well, Elizabeth got me into it. 198 00:07:44,274 --> 00:07:45,306 That's what we're doing in town, actually. 199 00:07:45,342 --> 00:07:46,441 We're gonna visit the Venice Canals. 200 00:07:46,476 --> 00:07:48,476 - Oh, boy. - Oh, we've seen 201 00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:52,146 all the greats: Dane's Canal, Old Sussex Canal, Carnhar's Canal. 202 00:07:52,182 --> 00:07:54,015 Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure. Names of canals, 203 00:07:54,050 --> 00:07:55,350 other canal names, right, okay. 204 00:07:55,385 --> 00:07:56,818 Hey, Butt, remember when you got wasted 205 00:07:56,853 --> 00:07:59,738 and head-slammed that wild boar? 206 00:07:59,756 --> 00:08:01,489 Do I? Then I followed that boar home 207 00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:03,324 - and murdered its whole family. - Oh, that's right. 208 00:08:04,894 --> 00:08:07,128 But we should probably... 209 00:08:07,163 --> 00:08:09,931 not dwell on the past, you know? 210 00:08:09,966 --> 00:08:12,867 - I couldn't agree more. - Well, let's have a toast. 211 00:08:12,902 --> 00:08:14,302 - To new friends and old. - Yes. 212 00:08:17,641 --> 00:08:19,674 - I'm out of here! - My crackers! 213 00:08:19,709 --> 00:08:23,044 Sorry about the crackers! Please clean them up for me. 214 00:08:23,079 --> 00:08:24,445 Come on, Star Sprinkle, get in here. 215 00:08:24,481 --> 00:08:25,847 There you go. 216 00:08:25,882 --> 00:08:27,649 Oh, it's gonna be the best butt ever. 217 00:08:27,684 --> 00:08:30,585 Headbutting a unicorn? It just makes sense, right? 218 00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:32,387 - Let me at it! - Butt! Butt! Butt! 219 00:08:32,422 --> 00:08:34,989 That unicorn's toast! 220 00:08:35,025 --> 00:08:37,025 Hey. Oh, wow, glorp. 221 00:08:37,060 --> 00:08:39,460 I didn't know you were still glorping. 222 00:08:39,496 --> 00:08:42,263 Yeah, yeah. Hey, remember how we used to cut it 223 00:08:42,299 --> 00:08:43,931 with the ground-up teeth of those we vanquished? 224 00:08:43,967 --> 00:08:45,300 I sure do. 225 00:08:45,335 --> 00:08:46,968 Yeah, I brought some for old time's sake, 226 00:08:47,003 --> 00:08:48,970 but I'm guessing you don't want any? 227 00:08:49,005 --> 00:08:51,839 Yeah. Elizabeth doesn't really approve. 228 00:08:51,875 --> 00:08:53,841 You know, mouth cancer and all. 229 00:08:53,877 --> 00:08:56,611 Butt, are you kidding me? Mouth cancer's not a thing. 230 00:08:56,646 --> 00:08:58,313 That chick is brainwashing you. 231 00:08:58,348 --> 00:09:00,348 Come on, we're having fun together. 232 00:09:00,383 --> 00:09:03,318 - You met at a coffee shop. - Yeah, Zorn. 233 00:09:03,353 --> 00:09:06,921 She met me in a coffee shop bathroom, 234 00:09:06,956 --> 00:09:09,490 wasted off my ass, covered in my own vomit. 235 00:09:09,526 --> 00:09:13,394 She took me in, cleaned me up, got me into the program. 236 00:09:13,430 --> 00:09:16,097 If it weren't for her, I just... I don't know. 237 00:09:16,132 --> 00:09:18,933 I'm just saying, she saved me, man. 238 00:09:18,968 --> 00:09:22,003 - I had to grow up sooner or later. - No, I get it, I get it. 239 00:09:22,038 --> 00:09:24,205 It's just, life here is so boring. 240 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:26,974 I was so psyched for one night of fun with my best friend. 241 00:09:27,010 --> 00:09:30,545 Okay? Two pals reliving the glory days, that's all. 242 00:09:32,882 --> 00:09:36,451 Tell you what. Let's swing by that work party. 243 00:09:36,486 --> 00:09:38,953 You can buy me a club soda. 244 00:09:42,225 --> 00:09:44,892 What's up? What's up? 245 00:09:44,928 --> 00:09:46,394 How you livin'? 246 00:09:46,429 --> 00:09:48,062 Hey, what's up? Son of Zorn. 247 00:09:48,098 --> 00:09:51,299 - Hey. - Uh... Ooh, uh... 248 00:09:51,334 --> 00:09:54,202 - Who's this? - Uh, this is, uh, Head... 249 00:09:54,237 --> 00:09:55,536 This... her name is Dorothy Clementina. 250 00:09:55,572 --> 00:09:56,904 What's up, man? 251 00:09:56,940 --> 00:09:58,539 - I have teenage gout. - Mm-hmm. 252 00:09:58,575 --> 00:10:00,241 Oh. 253 00:10:00,276 --> 00:10:02,009 She's a, she's a family friend, know what I'm saying? 254 00:10:02,045 --> 00:10:04,846 - Alan. - Oh, hey. 255 00:10:04,881 --> 00:10:07,382 Uh, I'm gonna go say hi to someone. So... 256 00:10:07,417 --> 00:10:10,685 - Dorothy Clementina, I'll... - Finally. 257 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:13,721 - So, Clementina, huh? That's a... - Where can I drop a B.M.? 258 00:10:13,757 --> 00:10:16,224 Uh... I mean, there's a bathroom 259 00:10:16,259 --> 00:10:18,025 - over there, I think. - Bathroom? 260 00:10:18,061 --> 00:10:20,728 No, no. Someplace cooler. 261 00:10:20,764 --> 00:10:22,196 Um... 262 00:10:22,232 --> 00:10:25,433 Listen up, San-Soluties. 263 00:10:25,468 --> 00:10:27,869 This is Butt, my best friend in the world. 264 00:10:27,904 --> 00:10:29,570 And if he does something you enjoy, 265 00:10:29,606 --> 00:10:33,307 the chant goes like this: "Butt! Butt! Butt! Butt!" 266 00:10:33,343 --> 00:10:34,876 And so on, to infinity. 267 00:10:34,871 --> 00:10:37,105 ♪ Changing by the minute and the record on repeat ♪ 268 00:10:37,140 --> 00:10:39,073 ♪ Took a sip, then another sip ♪ 269 00:10:39,109 --> 00:10:41,175 ♪ Then somebody said to me ♪ 270 00:10:41,211 --> 00:10:44,379 ♪ Why you babysitting only two or three shots? ♪ 271 00:10:44,414 --> 00:10:46,814 ♪ I'm-a show you how to turn it up a notch ♪ 272 00:10:46,850 --> 00:10:48,483 ♪ First you get a swimming pool ♪ 273 00:10:48,518 --> 00:10:51,019 ♪ Full of liquor, then you dive in it ♪ 274 00:10:51,054 --> 00:10:52,120 ♪ Pool full of liquor ♪ 275 00:10:52,155 --> 00:10:54,222 ♪ Then you dive in it. ♪ 276 00:10:54,397 --> 00:10:55,563 - Buddy, you okay? - Yeah. 277 00:10:55,598 --> 00:10:57,965 I'm good, I'm good. Two beers, please. 278 00:10:58,001 --> 00:10:59,000 Whoa, whoa. Two beers? 279 00:10:59,035 --> 00:11:01,536 - Are you sure about this, pal? - Ah, it's okay, Zorn. 280 00:11:01,571 --> 00:11:02,770 A couple sips won't hurt me. 281 00:11:02,806 --> 00:11:03,905 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 282 00:11:03,940 --> 00:11:05,440 Hey, before you take that drink, 283 00:11:05,475 --> 00:11:07,175 I just want you to think about... 284 00:11:07,210 --> 00:11:11,012 how awesome this is gonna be! Butt! Butt! Butt! 285 00:11:11,047 --> 00:11:13,548 Butt! Butt! Butt! Butt! Butt! 286 00:11:13,583 --> 00:11:16,117 Ooh, five of clubs. 287 00:11:16,152 --> 00:11:18,419 Gin, ladies. Take off your tops. 288 00:11:18,455 --> 00:11:22,957 - I'm kidding. - I'm sorry. 289 00:11:22,992 --> 00:11:24,959 - You just look so familiar. - All right, look. 290 00:11:24,994 --> 00:11:28,529 It's true, we have met before. Does Arrowhead ring a bell? 291 00:11:28,565 --> 00:11:30,398 - Arrowhead. - Okay, let me guess. 292 00:11:30,433 --> 00:11:33,234 Arrowhead is a guy whose head is shaped like an arrow, 293 00:11:33,269 --> 00:11:35,336 and when he opens his mouth, arrows come out 294 00:11:35,371 --> 00:11:37,638 and they shoot you, and then you turn into an arrow, 295 00:11:37,674 --> 00:11:39,707 and then you shoot other people in the head. 296 00:11:39,742 --> 00:11:40,808 No. That's Archeron. 297 00:11:40,844 --> 00:11:45,446 Arrowhead was our seventh grade summer camp. 298 00:11:45,482 --> 00:11:48,649 You're Lizzy Jones! Oh! 299 00:11:48,685 --> 00:11:50,117 Why didn't you just say so? 300 00:11:50,153 --> 00:11:53,921 Well, I had a boyfriend at the time, and you kissed him. 301 00:11:53,957 --> 00:11:56,491 - Ooh! - What? 302 00:11:56,526 --> 00:11:59,360 - Yeah. Josh Kirschenbaum? - Oh, I remember Josh. 303 00:11:59,395 --> 00:12:02,797 But Josh was going out with me at the time, so... 304 00:12:02,832 --> 00:12:04,332 - Oh! - I mean, that's not 305 00:12:04,367 --> 00:12:05,933 how it happened, but that's okay, I don't care. 306 00:12:05,969 --> 00:12:08,135 Well, that is definitely how it happened, 307 00:12:08,171 --> 00:12:09,971 but I don't care either. 308 00:12:10,006 --> 00:12:14,709 Well, my opinion? I do care, and I want answers. 309 00:12:14,744 --> 00:12:16,744 So then I was like, "H-2-O? 310 00:12:16,779 --> 00:12:20,548 - More like H-2-hell no." - Good joke. 311 00:12:20,583 --> 00:12:22,601 - That is bad. - Awesome. 312 00:12:22,636 --> 00:12:24,719 - No. Bad. - You nailed it. 313 00:12:24,754 --> 00:12:29,090 You know, actually, I'm really happy I came to this party. 314 00:12:29,125 --> 00:12:31,692 Even though I normally hate parties. 315 00:12:31,728 --> 00:12:33,561 Well, I'm-I'm glad you came, too. 316 00:12:33,596 --> 00:12:35,463 And I did, as well. 317 00:12:35,498 --> 00:12:39,567 - So... yeah. - Yeah, me also. 318 00:12:40,603 --> 00:12:42,003 Where's your friend? 319 00:12:42,038 --> 00:12:44,272 Because I want him for sex, you know? He kind of ran away. 320 00:12:44,307 --> 00:12:46,173 He, uh, y... I don't know, sorry. 321 00:12:46,209 --> 00:12:49,110 All right. I'll check the bathroom, I guess, 322 00:12:49,145 --> 00:12:50,845 'cause he seems obsessed with the location. 323 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:53,347 - Good luck. - All right. 324 00:12:53,383 --> 00:12:55,950 Okay, so that's... she's, like, a... like, a family friend. 325 00:12:55,985 --> 00:12:58,519 Layla, Alan. Come on, we're going swimming. 326 00:12:58,555 --> 00:13:00,855 No, no suit here. So, uh-uh. 327 00:13:00,890 --> 00:13:02,290 Just put one of your socks on it. 328 00:13:02,325 --> 00:13:04,592 That's what my dad does. 329 00:13:04,627 --> 00:13:07,795 - Mm. - Did you see Shannon's outie? 330 00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:09,997 It looks like a baby finger. 331 00:13:10,033 --> 00:13:12,033 Well, that's... Things that are weird about people, 332 00:13:12,068 --> 00:13:13,801 what's that all about? 333 00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:17,338 - You coming? - I just ate. So, ugh. 334 00:13:17,373 --> 00:13:20,741 Oh, no. You could still probably swim, though. 335 00:13:20,777 --> 00:13:22,243 I'll ge... I'll get a cramp. 336 00:13:22,278 --> 00:13:24,078 The next thing you know, be a lawsuit. 337 00:13:24,113 --> 00:13:25,880 I don't want to be involved. 338 00:13:25,915 --> 00:13:27,715 Okay. 339 00:13:30,486 --> 00:13:34,388 All of my closest friends have died in pools. 340 00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:38,950 ♪ Munga, munga, munga, munga ♪ 341 00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:41,552 ♪ Munga, munga, munga, munga, munga, munga, yump! ♪ 342 00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:47,859 - Oh, man. - Hey, that was good. 343 00:13:47,894 --> 00:13:49,460 Thanks for getting me out, Zorn. 344 00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:53,431 Best time I've had in three months, two weeks and five days. 345 00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:55,499 I know, so let's keep the party going. 346 00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:57,535 You know, blow off those stupid canals tomorrow. 347 00:13:57,604 --> 00:14:00,504 Canals? What the...? Oh, right. 348 00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:02,707 No, right, yeah. I said I was gonna go to the Venice Canals. 349 00:14:02,742 --> 00:14:04,308 - Wait, are you not? - Uh, never mind. 350 00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:05,776 You know, it's-it's a whole thing. 351 00:14:05,812 --> 00:14:08,145 - I don't even want to... - Dude, you're my best friend. 352 00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:11,382 - You can tell me anything. - All right. Look. 353 00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:13,484 The real reason we came was 'cause Elizabeth 354 00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:16,354 wants me to see a neurologist at UCLA. 355 00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:18,389 - Wait. What? - Klorpins, the cave doctor, 356 00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:21,692 said I've got brain damage from a lifetime of ramming stuff. 357 00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:25,396 He said if I headbutt one more thing, I could die. 358 00:14:25,431 --> 00:14:26,998 Hey! 359 00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,900 - I got fireball shots. - Hell yeah! 360 00:14:28,935 --> 00:14:30,935 I'm feeling crazy tonight! 361 00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:34,939 - I like this one. - I'm gonna live forever! 362 00:14:34,974 --> 00:14:37,241 Okay, remember, your name 363 00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:40,044 is Michael Slater, and you were best friends with Josh at camp. 364 00:14:40,079 --> 00:14:41,545 Hello? 365 00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:44,015 Josh? Josh Kirschenbaum? 366 00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:45,583 Yeah. Uh, who's this? 367 00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:50,454 Michael Slater from Camp Arrowhead. 368 00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:53,024 I found your number online, so, uh... 369 00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:54,292 It's been a long time, huh? 370 00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:57,795 Yeah, a long while. What do you want? 371 00:14:57,830 --> 00:15:00,364 Yeah, so, listen, I'm writing a memoir about my childhood. 372 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:04,168 It's called A Life of Wonder: Michael's Tale. 373 00:15:04,203 --> 00:15:06,037 And, um, it's being published by Knopf. 374 00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:08,205 I don't know if you heard of them... and Random House 375 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:09,874 was looking around. They were sort of sniffing 376 00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:12,276 and trying to make... Anyways, I was wondering, 377 00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:15,479 maybe you can clear up some stories from my camp days? 378 00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:19,050 Did you have a girlfriend named Edie or Lizzy? 379 00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:22,086 Come on, Mike, I had, like, 11 girlfriends. 380 00:15:22,121 --> 00:15:25,356 Yeah, I know, but, uh, who did you like more, 381 00:15:25,391 --> 00:15:27,391 Edie or Lizzie? 382 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,926 Well, okay, let's see. 383 00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:31,996 Obviously, Lizzy was Lizzy the Ho, so she was fun, 384 00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:32,997 but also kind of gross. 385 00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:36,167 And Edie... she was hot but totally flat. 386 00:15:36,202 --> 00:15:37,768 - Oh, my God! - Hey! 387 00:15:37,804 --> 00:15:39,403 - Who was that? - You know what? 388 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,872 It's Edie Bennett and Lizzy the Ho, you fart-sack! 389 00:15:41,908 --> 00:15:43,274 Hey, Mike, what the hell is this? 390 00:15:43,309 --> 00:15:44,508 - Look, you need help at all... - Just hang up. 391 00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:48,446 - Just hang up. - Such a jerk, that guy! 392 00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:50,681 - Well, it's settled. - Wait, something's wrong. 393 00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:52,017 I mean, this looks like Head 394 00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:54,852 when he texts with his head and not his thumbs. 395 00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:57,355 I'm telling ya, all it took was one headbutt, 396 00:15:57,390 --> 00:16:00,716 and that little girl went flying! 397 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,594 Am I the only one that finds this story disturbing? 398 00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:06,297 - Yes. - Hey, Butt Man, 399 00:16:06,332 --> 00:16:08,499 why don't you put your head where your mouth is? 400 00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:12,403 You, uh, think you can smash that chair with your head? 401 00:16:12,438 --> 00:16:14,705 Does a Grithian herdsman have nine anuses? 402 00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:16,374 I don't know. 403 00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:17,842 Hey, uh, you know what'd be really fun? 404 00:16:17,877 --> 00:16:19,710 Driving home and seeing if there's any cheese left, 405 00:16:19,746 --> 00:16:22,446 - then going to bed. - Stop being such a buzz-kill, Zorn. 406 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,849 I love this guy. 407 00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:26,784 It's too dangerous! 408 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,019 - You suck! - They say if you see something, 409 00:16:28,054 --> 00:16:29,620 you're supposed to say something. Well, I... 410 00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:32,723 - Hey, you. - Zorn, where are you guys? 411 00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:35,426 - Elizabeth is freaking out. - Uh, still at the party. 412 00:16:35,461 --> 00:16:37,261 Just, you know, sipping our Shirley Temples. 413 00:16:37,296 --> 00:16:39,030 I'll do it. You think I won't? 414 00:16:39,065 --> 00:16:40,531 Oh, is that Butt? 415 00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:42,733 You really think you can headbutt my truck? 416 00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:44,502 - It's a V-8! - No, no, no, no. 417 00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:46,070 - Butt! Linda! Butt! - Let's take this party to the next level! 418 00:16:46,105 --> 00:16:47,705 Edie, just tell Elizabeth... 419 00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:50,141 Tell Elizabeth what? She's terrified. 420 00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:51,776 How did I even get... 421 00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:54,111 Phew. That was a close one. 422 00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:55,579 Hey, where'd everyone go? 423 00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:59,383 Uh, I think I heard somebody say something 424 00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:00,785 about headbutting a truck? 425 00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:04,388 Who's gonna headbutt the truck... I-I have no idea. 426 00:17:06,215 --> 00:17:10,170 Oh, my God, you're so disgusting. 427 00:17:10,352 --> 00:17:11,819 - Are you eating my deodorant? - Yeah. 428 00:17:11,854 --> 00:17:13,721 I want my mouth to smell like your armpits. 429 00:17:13,756 --> 00:17:16,323 - What's the big deal? - What is she even doing here? 430 00:17:16,358 --> 00:17:17,958 - Who invited her? - He did. 431 00:17:17,993 --> 00:17:21,095 What? Me? No, I didn't... not really. 432 00:17:21,130 --> 00:17:23,897 She's just, like, my dad's friend's, uh... 433 00:17:23,933 --> 00:17:27,201 This is a party, Alan, not a zoo for freaks. 434 00:17:27,236 --> 00:17:30,071 All right. Well, that one was harsh. 435 00:17:30,072 --> 00:17:33,207 That one I can't forget. TF... too far. 436 00:17:33,242 --> 00:17:35,843 I think we're all saying stuff we're gonna regret. 437 00:17:35,878 --> 00:17:39,246 - Hey, Shannon, she's not a freak. - Look at her. 438 00:17:39,281 --> 00:17:41,281 - She has a mustache. - Okay. 439 00:17:41,317 --> 00:17:42,783 Yeah, yeah, she's got a mustache. 440 00:17:42,818 --> 00:17:44,785 - All right, well... - She also has teenage gout. 441 00:17:44,820 --> 00:17:48,522 She also says she has to go to the bathroom all the time, and... 442 00:17:48,557 --> 00:17:50,791 Also, my nipples are the opposite of small. 443 00:17:50,826 --> 00:17:52,059 Just let me get through this, okay? 444 00:17:52,094 --> 00:17:53,560 Oh, yeah, yeah. It's all you. It's all you. 445 00:17:53,596 --> 00:17:54,928 It's all you. 446 00:17:54,964 --> 00:17:56,764 Everyone has something weird about them. 447 00:17:56,799 --> 00:17:59,133 But she knows who she is and she doesn't care. 448 00:17:59,168 --> 00:18:02,770 She owns it. And that's... I think that's pretty cool. 449 00:18:02,805 --> 00:18:04,138 It's a lot cooler than I am. 450 00:18:04,473 --> 00:18:06,339 Whatever. 451 00:18:06,375 --> 00:18:08,141 I'm gonna go have sex in my little sister's room. 452 00:18:08,177 --> 00:18:10,544 - Me, too. - All right, let's go. 453 00:18:10,612 --> 00:18:14,014 Hey. Thanks, Alangulon. 454 00:18:14,049 --> 00:18:17,149 You know what? Thank you, Headbutt Girl. 455 00:18:19,171 --> 00:18:22,005 - What the hell?! - I told you, only my dad calls me that. 456 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:26,676 What the hell are you looking at?! You want to go?! 457 00:18:26,712 --> 00:18:27,944 That's what I thought. 458 00:18:27,980 --> 00:18:29,779 I'm gonna go find a rug to scoot on. 459 00:18:29,815 --> 00:18:31,047 Oh, my God. 460 00:18:31,083 --> 00:18:34,784 - Are you okay? - Uh, yeah, I'm fine. Just, like... 461 00:18:34,820 --> 00:18:36,186 You know, I could have a concussion, 462 00:18:36,221 --> 00:18:38,822 so you probably have to stay with me all night, you know? 463 00:18:38,857 --> 00:18:40,790 Oh, I have to stay with you all night? 464 00:18:40,826 --> 00:18:42,459 Well, just in case. If I have a concussion, 465 00:18:42,494 --> 00:18:44,427 I'm not liable for anything I say, just so you know. 466 00:18:44,463 --> 00:18:45,729 Yeah, okay. 467 00:18:45,764 --> 00:18:48,098 No, I'm telling you, Butt, do not do this! 468 00:18:48,133 --> 00:18:51,234 - You're gonna die! - I'm fine, Zorny. 469 00:18:51,270 --> 00:18:53,136 This is what I was born to do. 470 00:18:53,171 --> 00:18:56,139 - Out of the way, Zorn! - Linda, will you please? 471 00:18:56,174 --> 00:18:57,641 Linda, stop. You don't understand. 472 00:18:57,676 --> 00:18:59,643 Hey, Butt Man brought this on himself. 473 00:18:59,678 --> 00:19:01,011 You don't mess with the devil. 474 00:19:01,046 --> 00:19:04,447 I need to talk to Boss Linda now. 475 00:19:04,483 --> 00:19:06,850 Okay. Boss Linda here. You're fired, Zorn! 476 00:19:06,885 --> 00:19:08,818 - Linda, please. - Now Slayer Linda's back. 477 00:19:08,854 --> 00:19:10,253 - Linda... - You're not fired, Zorn. 478 00:19:10,289 --> 00:19:12,022 - Stop! - And your friend is gonna die! 479 00:19:12,057 --> 00:19:14,991 Linda, you shouldn't even be driving right now. 480 00:19:17,496 --> 00:19:18,395 Stop! 481 00:19:18,430 --> 00:19:21,498 Stop, stop! Stop! 482 00:19:22,901 --> 00:19:25,302 Stop! 483 00:19:25,337 --> 00:19:26,936 Elizabeth? 484 00:19:26,972 --> 00:19:29,639 Oh, God, what have I done? 485 00:19:29,675 --> 00:19:32,142 - Shh, shh, shh. - Look at me! 486 00:19:32,177 --> 00:19:34,344 It's okay. It's okay. I'm here now. 487 00:19:34,379 --> 00:19:36,446 Shh, shh, shh. 488 00:19:36,481 --> 00:19:39,149 Augusta Canal. Oswego Canal. 489 00:19:39,184 --> 00:19:41,284 Saint Clair Harbor. Flats Canal. 490 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:42,519 Yeah! 491 00:19:42,554 --> 00:19:44,220 Butt! Butt! Butt! 492 00:19:44,256 --> 00:19:47,490 Oh, man, he did it! He actually headbutted a unicorn! 493 00:19:47,526 --> 00:19:50,126 Dude, you look awesome right now. 494 00:19:50,162 --> 00:19:52,028 I don't like myself, Zorn. 495 00:19:52,097 --> 00:19:54,964 I can't live like this. I need help! 496 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,434 So that's what happened to my eye. 497 00:19:57,469 --> 00:19:59,903 - I always wondered. - Yeah, I guess I never watched 498 00:19:59,938 --> 00:20:01,538 this video all the way to the end. 499 00:20:01,573 --> 00:20:03,840 I can't believe I almost died for one last headbutt. 500 00:20:03,875 --> 00:20:05,842 Well, I guess there's an argument to be made 501 00:20:05,877 --> 00:20:08,178 that it's better to have you around boring and alive 502 00:20:08,213 --> 00:20:10,413 than awesome and dead, you know? 503 00:20:10,449 --> 00:20:12,749 Hey, hey. Just want to say a quick good-bye to everybody. 504 00:20:12,784 --> 00:20:16,319 Ooh, your head still looks terrible. 505 00:20:16,355 --> 00:20:17,987 Yeah. It's on me, though, you know? 506 00:20:18,023 --> 00:20:19,556 I shouldn't have got in the way of the faucet 507 00:20:19,591 --> 00:20:20,523 like I did. Just... Whoo! 508 00:20:20,559 --> 00:20:23,159 Well, maybe that happened because you pissed off the faucet. 509 00:20:23,195 --> 00:20:26,063 If you could read between the lines, you would know that the faucet 510 00:20:26,064 --> 00:20:28,932 was hoping you were the one she could give her special flower to, 511 00:20:28,967 --> 00:20:31,568 but now the faucet will have to give it up 512 00:20:31,603 --> 00:20:33,636 to some stranger on a changing table in the airport bathroom! 513 00:20:33,672 --> 00:20:35,872 Okay, that's enough, Butty-cakes. 514 00:20:36,675 --> 00:20:40,777 - Oh, that's my daughter. - Well, guess you guys should hit the road, 515 00:20:40,812 --> 00:20:42,912 but not with your head. 516 00:20:42,948 --> 00:20:45,315 You get it? 'Cause you're brain-damaged. 517 00:20:45,350 --> 00:20:46,916 Dang it. Where'd I put my keys? 518 00:20:46,952 --> 00:20:49,052 Got 'em right here for you buddy. Here you go. 519 00:20:50,722 --> 00:20:52,856 Butt? 520 00:20:52,891 --> 00:20:55,525 Butt! 521 00:20:57,965 --> 00:21:01,707 sync and correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 522 00:21:04,536 --> 00:21:06,936 ♪ She's all that I want ♪ 523 00:21:06,972 --> 00:21:09,372 ♪ All-all that I want ♪ 524 00:21:09,408 --> 00:21:10,907 ♪ And I, and I ♪ 525 00:21:10,942 --> 00:21:14,177 ♪ And I want to feel the heat ♪ 526 00:21:14,246 --> 00:21:16,546 ♪ She shifted up the clutch ♪ 527 00:21:16,581 --> 00:21:18,882 ♪ Jump-Jumping double Dutch ♪ 528 00:21:18,917 --> 00:21:20,517 ♪ And I want, I want ♪ 529 00:21:20,552 --> 00:21:24,053 ♪ I want her to jump for me ♪ 530 00:21:24,122 --> 00:21:25,588 ♪ Oh... ♪ 531 00:21:25,589 --> 00:21:27,488 Whoa!